Overcoming pregnancy fears

I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him.

- Eleanor Roosevelt, human rights advocate

I borrowed this quote from a "healthy reflection email that landed in my inbox this morning.

It's particularly relevant for me right now as I am anxious about work right now. I only have 7 weeks left until my due date and I still have a lot of work to do on my complete pregnancy support system. It's taking me a lot longer than expected as obtsacles keep falling in my path. Like yesterday - I spent the whole day editing videos in movie maker. They ran perfectly in the preview screen but as soon as I published the movies, for some reason the software decided to trim the videos at random points. I tried a few methods to solve it but to no avail. As you can imagine I was highly frustrated at a wasted days work and the fact that I still have a problem with movie maker!

But I will not give up. I have put so much work into this so far and I will get it all done on time - it's just a bit stressful going. The reason behind most failures is because success is never attempted. The obstacle seems too big to overcome. However, each small victory along the way builds confidence and spurs you on, to overcome the next fear. Very soon you are seeing and feeling the success and well on target for the big picture.

Thomas Eddison said, " I found 10,000 ways to make a light bulb, but only one way to make it work."

If you just take that one small step to overcome your fear today, you are one step closer to success. If you fall down, just remember you've found one more way that it doesn't work - it's one less pothole for you to worry about.

How do I keep my perspective?

Well up till now I think I've done really well this year. It's been one hell of a journey. To update those of you who are newer to the site and remind those who have seen me through thick and thin (you know who you are...), this year has been a marathon!

It all started with a career move to London, UK, to work with my friend, mentor and shoulder to cry on, Dax Moy. I had known Dax for a few months by this time and when he offered me the opportunity to work in his studio as one of his elite team of health and fitnesss coaches, I naturally jumped at the chance. However, I made some big sacrifices to do so.

I closed my personal training business in Bristol, took a big loan to set up my new business in London, temporarily left my boyfriend and our lovely home behind and set off into the unknown to start from scratch on this new career path.

Two months later I discovered I was pregnant. I was working 60 hour weeks trying to build and establish a new client base and at the time was earning practically zero as the credit crunch had hit the fitness industry big time, and it truly was the worst 1st quarter I have ever witnessed!

Financial stress, emotional worries and troubles at home with awful housemates took their toll and after a series of bleeds I had a massive haemmorrhage and almost miscarried. I was all alone with no immediate friends, family or support, other than Dax, his wife and a work colleague who is now a very good friend.

Thankfully I have a little fighter in my belly and he survived. A few months later, Carl and I decided enough was enough and it was time for me to move back home. But the journey wasn't over yet. We had rented out our flat and there were tenants in there for the next few months. Carl was working away and I only got to see him every 2-3 weeks as he was working on a big project that required 21 day shifts, so I moved back home to my dad's. Lovely as it was to be home, it's a bit strange moving back in with your dad when you're pregnant and 31! He's great though and I really have loved being back at the family home.

Finally this weekend Carl and I moved back into our flat together! It's the first time we've lived together, or even spent a whole week together since last December and I'm now 32 weeks pregnant! Up until now I have managed to hold it all together, not let things get me down and I haven't had any emotional breakdowns at all, (one or two tearful moments but nothing major). But last week everything seemed to get on top of me.

Moving back into the flat has meant that we have had to really tighten up our belts as money is tight. On top of that I'm working on a complete pregnancy support system to help expectant mothers through every single day of the 9 month journey. This as you can imagine is a hell of a lot of work and it has to be finished in 8 weeks time as that's when I'm due. I also have yet to do my tax return for the last year and everything seems to be happening so quick! Oh and did I mention that I give birth in just 8 short weeks?

My usual calm temperement went out the window. I was really tearful - on the edge of tears for about two days. Then Carl asked me what was wrong and the floodgates opened! I was caught "in the thick of thin things" and couldn't see the wood for the trees. He managed to calm me down and we talked it all through and I realised that focussing on the little things had made me lose sight of the bigger picture. I was so pre-occupied with my anxieties that they became my world and I temporarily lost sight of my ability to face them down with a smile.

That smile gave me clarity and I realised that I was worrying instead of doing. So I stopped fretting and started to deal with my anxieties head on. I put them back in their place and started crossing things off my to-do list.

So today I feel much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm still worried about things, but I'm trying to keep my perspective by doing.

Third Trimester - Heartburn and Tiredness

Ugh! It's making me feel sick - ALL THE TIME!!

I literally can't eat a thing at least 2 hours before bed - and that includes water!

It is definitely sugar that makes it worse though as I only really get it on weekends when I'm having a cheat day (i.e. eating rubbish). The weeks are mostly fine, although I did have a bowl of tomato soup at 7pm last Wednesday then had to leave my swim class halfway through at 930pm because it just wouldn't stay down!

This is definitley not an enjoyable part of pregnancy!

I'm also finding that I'm starting to feel a little more tired these days. It's only been the last 2 weeks that I've noticed it, but it's definitely there. The lack of energy at the end of the day and the staying in bed till 8am instead of getting up at 7am as I had been doing previously.

Still, my workouts are still going well and this last month I've been training harder than ever as I feel more energised when I'm exercising.

Last week:

Resistance workout A - Monday
Resistance workout B - Tuesday
Swimming - Wednesday
Thursday - rest
Friday - Photo shoot for 9month club support system
Saturday - teaching Balance
Sunday - teaching Pilates

I keep getting asked when I'm going to stop teaching but I'm still managing fine so I'm hoping to go right through to November when I'm ready to drop!

Unconditional Love

"Before you were conceived I wanted you.

Before you were born I loved you.

Before you were here an hour I would die for you.

This is the miracle of life. "

- Maureen Hawkins

This made me cry when I read it, (but that's not unusual - everything makes me cry right now!), it says it all about a mother's connection with her unborn child. Carrying a child changes your perspective on everything. You are no longer focussed on "you", but instead every single action you take now considers the little life inside of you first and foremost.

As mothers to be we are so fortunate to have a supernatural connection with our babies, that their fathers will never have the chance to experience. Make the most of this magical time and talk to your baby every day. Send them love and let them know they are cherished. Your baby will feed off your good vibes and grow strong, happy and healthy from your love.

Working your transverse for an easy labour

Now we've all heard about Kegels, the pelvic floor exercises designed by Dr Arnold Kegel, to support the pelvic structures and prevent urinary incontinence. But how many prenatal care professionals will tell you about the importance of working your transverse abdominus?

My guess is I could probably count the number on one hand...without the thumb. The importance of the transverse abdominus in labour is massively overlooked by care professionals but it is one of the major muscles you will need to use to ensure an easy labour.



As you can see from the diagram the TA is a deep seated abdominal muscle that attaches to the bottm six ribs at the front and the pelvis in back. It runs across our sides and inserts into the linea alba at the front (the middle of your abdomen). It is also connected to the diaphragm which helps us breathe.

It looks like and acts like a corset, pulling you in and helps stabilise your torso and pelvis. This little beauty is the muscle that, if trained correctly will give you a flat stomach.

It is also the muscle that will help you push your baby out during labour.

Transverse Exercises

1. Now to work the transverse you need to breathe. Start by taking a big belly breath into the pit of your stomach. If you put your hands on your belly the in breath should expand your belly making it rise and grow outwards. As you exhale imagine pulling your bElly button right back to your spine. Now hold it there for a count of 10 second before releasing with another belly breath. Repeat this exercise for a minimum of 10 holds.

As you get stronger you can increase the hold count to 30. Always count out loud so that you are not holding your breath as this is a dangerous movement called the valsava manoeuver which can send your blood pressure sky high.

2. Next imagine your belly button is like an elevator. When you take in a belly breath this is ground floor, as you exhale and draw the belly button back to the spine, imagine you are passing through 5 floors.

Pull all the way back to floor 5 on the first exhale.
Then as you inhale release your belly button to floor 4.
Exhale and pull back to floor 5.
Release to floor 3.
Pull back to floor 5
Exhale to floor 2
Pull back to floor 5
Exhale to floor 3
Pull back to floor 5
Exhale to floor 2
Pull back to floor 5
Exhale to floor 4
Pull back to floor 5
Inhale with a big belly breath to floor 1
Pull back to floor 5
Inhale all the way to ground floor

Do 3 sets of these exercises 5 times a day. You can do your Kegels in between sets as your rest.

Now when it comes to the big day your TA is going to act like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube to push your baby out. However, YOU MUST BREATHE! Unfortunately the majority of delivery room staff will try and get you to hold your breath whilst pushing. Not only is this ineffective, it's also dangerous.

*When you hold your breath and work a muscle (or push) your blood pressure will go mental, first rocketing upwards, then going down rapidly before shooting up to an even higher level than before. Many women have burst blood vessels in their eyes and increase their risk of stroke after labour because of this.

*Your transverse muscle will move forwards instead of back and push against your weakened rectus abdominus, (the six pack), pushing the muscle apart and giving you a diastasis - leaving your back weakened an unsupported.

*You will fatigue quickly - research shows that holding your breath whilst bearing down for more than 5 seconds is uneccessarily tiring. Labour requires stamina so you don't want to be tiring yourself out before you've finished the race!

So instruct your birthing partner to be firm with the delivery room staff. Keep breathing as your contractions come. Take a big belly breath in at the start and then exhale long and hard as you pull your transverse back to squeeze your baby out.

So long as you have been practising your transverse exercises daily throughout your pregnancy you will find you have great stamina and strength and labour should become a much easier process.